"Jennifer's Reflections"
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
On Saturday, April 24, 2010, my life was changed forever. I lost my best friend, the love of my life, the person I thought I would grow old with. In just moments, God swept him up and placed him in His presence. While I can't understand it now, for whatever reason, God needed Brad to leave this earth - a place that knows pain, grief, sorrow, stress, illness and hardships - and take him to place that none of us can even imagine. I know without a doubt that Brad is sitting at the banquet table with Jesus. Someone told me they saw Brad running on Friday, and she said "who would've known he was running his final race to a better place." So true....I know he is now running on streets of gold. I've been trying to wrap my mind around this situation, and the only thing that keeps coming to me over and over is that God is Sovereign and His plan is perfect. It was part of His divine plan that Brad be taken when and where he was. I don't have to understand it, I only have to trust that God has prepared me for a time such as this. God has reminded me through the years that HE is enough. Enough for whatever I need. And He was, He is and He always will be. I have a choice of how I continue my life. I can choose to live in sorrow and sadness, or I can choose to move forward and be grateful for all the gifts God has blessed me with through the years with Brad. I choose to be grateful.
In the past few months, when life was not where Brad and I thought it would be, when things seemed hard, I kept repeating that it was ok - I still had my children, their health - and a loving, faithful, healthy husband. That was all that mattered to me. I woke up every morning to find Brad sitting in our favorite chair reading his Bible. I think that will be one of my most favorite memories of him.
Brad and I always said that while our life together was not always easy, neither of us would change a thing. Our marriage was never perfect, and there were some bumpy roads, but we had always made a commitment to put God in the center. Because of that commitment, our marriage grew stronger each day. Brad was an example of what a man after God's own heart should be. He always put his family first - but only after seeking God's direction. Brad was an incredible father, husband, son, brother and friend to many. I'll never understand why he had to leave us so early, but I cherish the fact that I was privileged to be his wife and the mother of his children. I know this goodbye is only temporary, that one day I will be reunited with him....and what a sweet day that will be. Until then, I take the responsibility that God has given me to raise our children to know and love God as much as he did and I do. It is only through God's grace and mercy that I can face each day to come.
Through the years, Brad and I have been blessed with a number of incredible friends. These past few days have been made easier for me by the outpouring of love from them. I know Brad would be humbled as much as I am by the love and care our family and friends have been showing me and our children. This is what life is about - relationships. Its not things, money or power. It is my prayer that Brad's death -and life - remind us all of this.
In the past few months, when life was not where Brad and I thought it would be, when things seemed hard, I kept repeating that it was ok - I still had my children, their health - and a loving, faithful, healthy husband. That was all that mattered to me. I woke up every morning to find Brad sitting in our favorite chair reading his Bible. I think that will be one of my most favorite memories of him.
Brad and I always said that while our life together was not always easy, neither of us would change a thing. Our marriage was never perfect, and there were some bumpy roads, but we had always made a commitment to put God in the center. Because of that commitment, our marriage grew stronger each day. Brad was an example of what a man after God's own heart should be. He always put his family first - but only after seeking God's direction. Brad was an incredible father, husband, son, brother and friend to many. I'll never understand why he had to leave us so early, but I cherish the fact that I was privileged to be his wife and the mother of his children. I know this goodbye is only temporary, that one day I will be reunited with him....and what a sweet day that will be. Until then, I take the responsibility that God has given me to raise our children to know and love God as much as he did and I do. It is only through God's grace and mercy that I can face each day to come.
Through the years, Brad and I have been blessed with a number of incredible friends. These past few days have been made easier for me by the outpouring of love from them. I know Brad would be humbled as much as I am by the love and care our family and friends have been showing me and our children. This is what life is about - relationships. Its not things, money or power. It is my prayer that Brad's death -and life - remind us all of this.
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