A couple of days ago, my throat started hurting a little. By Friday morning, I pretty much knew I had an infection. I had some things to get at WalMart for a needy family that I was helping a friend with, so why not try the clinic IN WalMart? I mean, where else can you buy groceries, toothpaste and Christmas presents; grab coffee from McDonald's; see a Nurse Practitioner; and get your prescription?! I love Sam Walton and his ingenious idea of one-stop shopping. It really makes life easier. I got my antibiotic and I was good to go.
My mom and dad came up for a visit yesterday and we watched Christmas Vacation while Nate and Allie each made their own batch of cookies/cookie dough. (well, my mom had to help a little - thanks, Mom!) Allie likes to make cookies, Nate likes to eat the cookie dough. No denying these are my kids. Anyway, we all laughed and laughed at the movie. "And why is the carpet all wet, TODD?….I don't KNOW, Margot!" "It's the gift that keeps on giving all year long." This was one of Brad's favorite movies. We watched it every year. He would quote lines and we would laugh so hard. He knew exactly where to mute it so the kids wouldn't hear the not-so-desirable words. So, while I was laughing and trying to remember in what parts to hit the mute button, I was also feeling a twinge of pain as I missed having Brad share in the laughter and the time together.
Tonight, I am watching The Polar Express. Yes, by myself. Day 2 of strep throat and I am feeling pretty lousy. I've been in bed most of the day. Allie started watching with me, but then the occasional invite from Nate to play on the PS3 was too tempting. Here comes the pain again. Brad loved this movie, too. He was just all about Christmas and being in the Christmas spirit. He always made sure Christmas music was playing, and he insisted we watch all these movies every year. But I haven't even named his favorite yet. I'm sure it won't surprise you to learn it is "It's a Wonderful Life." Just typing that puts a smile on my face, because Brad did have a wonderful life, and my life wouldn't have been the same without him.
I've shuffled to the kitchen to fix a mug of cider and to sit down to write this note. I just felt like I needed to write. I guess it's just the emotions and memories that these movies are evoking. Such sweet times with Brad and the kids. I'm so grateful Brad was able to be here during their formative years. I have no doubt that he laid a great foundation for them, and when I feel inadequate, I have to trust that feeling and that God will pick up where Brad left off.
I've not finished my shopping, and really don't have much of a desire to get back out in the hustle and bustle of life. I love shopping, but right now, that is just one more thing on my to-do list which already seems insurmountable. When you lose someone so close to you, the holidays are hard. However, as hard as it is to not have him here, I take comfort in the true meaning of Christmas. God loved us so much, He sent His only son to a young girl named Mary to be born in a stable. A miraculous birth on earth that was the beginning of the reason for hope. I have hope that I will see Brad again some day. Brad and I added "The Nativity Story" to our list of must-sees at Christmas. It was so important to us for the kids to always remember the true meaning. Brad was such a good dad and husband. I thank God for loaning him to us, even if it was for what I feel was not a long enough time. Until I see the face of Jesus and am reunited with Brad, I will continue the traditions we started, always remember the sweet memories, but most of all celebrate the miracle of Jesus' birth.
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