Romans 8 (MSG)
"5-8Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God's action in them find that God's Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn't pleased at being ignored.
9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God's terms. It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!
12-14So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!
15-17This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!
18-21That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens."
When I think about the night that Brad was called home, I remember being given a peace that this was part of God's plan. Do I like it? NO! I HATE it! But do I have a say in the matter? No. Is there anything I could have done to change it? No! This is what God has given me. That night, God gave me a choice. He always gives us a choice in how we react to the circumstances he has given us. I could have easily chosen to be angry, to be bitter, to be less than what God expected of me. No. I chose to accept what God had planned for me since before I was even created. That doesn't make it easy. I miss my earthly husband more than words. He wasn't perfect, but neither am I. Our marriage wasn't perfect, but God was in the center, and He is perfect. We loved each other, we worked at our marriage, and God blessed us with a deeper love with each passing year. It's easy for us in our human minds to ask "why me?" If we truly believe that God is in control, we wholly TRUST and have FAITH that He knows what is best for us, then you will be keenly aware of His presence.The question then becomes, "Why not me?" The decision I made that night has forever changed my life. Yes, seeing Brad go to spend eternity with God changed my life, but the decision I made changed it MORE. I'm still here, God still has plans for me. Brad's job is done. He planted seeds, he taught the kids and I the importance of seeking God. He made a difference in people's lives. Why would I ruin all that he worked so hard for during his life on earth by being bitter and angry? What would I be teaching my children if I let this difficult path break me instead of proving my faith is real? Life on earth is not easy. Choosing to trust God is! There is an indescribable peace when you make that choice. People look at my life and think "she is so strong" or "I could never do that" or "I don't know what I would do if that happened to me." Well, I used to think things like that as well. But when God gave me a path I would never have chosen, I said "This will be used for Your glory." I believe it is. I can't see the big picture, but God can. He is allowing me to see little pieces, encouraging glimpses that fuel my passion to live my life for Him. There are bad moments. There are bad hours. There are bad days. There are bad weeks. But in between all those bad moments, hours, days and weeks, there are incredible moments, sweet hours, fun days, and strong weeks! I've said I'm only as strong as God makes me. He chose this path for me, so I have to trust that He will give me the strength to endure. I will miss Brad until the day we are reunited, but in the meantime, I have the memories of the times we shared, two beautiful children that God blessed us with, and the purpose of a life chosen and led by God.
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