Yesterday, I attended the funeral of a man who lived his life very similar to Brad's. While I don't remember a lot about Brad's service, I do remember the focus of the service was to celebrate his life. This was very important to me. I didn't want it to be sad or somber. Scot's service was strikingly similar. When someone dies young (and I'm speaking in relative terms here), there is an automatic human response to question the reason. If someone has lived a long life, it's still not easy to say goodbye, but we tend to look at it differently. I think back to the things that were said about Brad and Scot, and they both were men after God's own heart. How blessed Lisa (Scot's wife) and I were to have such husbands! I had several people come to me in the months after Brad's death and tell me that they were so impacted by his life and his service. I'm sure Lisa will experience the same. While our situations are different (Scot was diagnosed with ALS 6 years ago), they are very much the same. God 's plans for our lives may or may not match up to what we have expected and/or wanted. I had a conversation with a dear family friend (whose wife died young) about something he had heard in a sermon or a study. It was a question I could answer very quickly. "Is this how I pictured my life at ___?" (enter your age). Well, of course not! I never imagined that I would be 45 years old, raising an almost 14 year old boy (young man) and an almost 11 year old girl by myself! I never dreamed my husband would collapse at home and die from a massive heart attack when he was 40. It never crossed my mind that Brad and I would not be able to grow old together, to watch our children grow, to give them advice and encouragement as they navigate life. Yet, when I found myself in the ER of Baptist Hospital that Saturday night, I knew in my heart that it was part of God's plan….that He had chosen this life path for me. Do I like it??? No! Would I have chosen something different? Of course! Prior to Brad's death, he was having some problems with his employer. He was looking for another job, and was under an extreme amount of stress. Where did he turn? To God. He trusted God. Yes, he worried. It's just human nature to do so. But every morning, there he was, in his chair reading his Bible. We knew we weren't going to get to stay in what I termed "Brad's dream house." We were ok with that. We were sad, but we knew it wasn't part of God's plan anymore. I distinctly remember us standing in the kitchen, looking out over the pool and the beautiful view down the fairway as the sun set. We were commenting on how much we would miss the view and what we called home at the time, but then Brad said something so striking. "I'm at peace with moving. I just look at it that God allowed me to live in my dream house, even if it was for just a short time." I remember hugging him, knowing he was sad that life was going as he wanted it to. Looking back, God has brought this (among many other memories) to mind that life is not perfect….but we can CHOOSE to be grateful for the things we have been given. Yes, life was hard then. Money was tight, and Brad was under stress. Even then, though, God was teaching me be to grateful in all circumstances. Instead of being angry or dwelling on the fact that we were having to move, we were thankful for the time we had there. I tell my kids all the time that it's ok to miss dad, it's ok to be sad, but we can always be grateful for the time that we had him. I'm sure Scot and Lisa would've never chosen the path God laid out for them. I know I would never choose the path I'm on. Would you choose the path that you are on? Some of you may be able to answer that with a sound "yes." Some of you may answer "probably not," or "maybe a little differently." I would answer with a loud "NO!" only because I miss Brad, and I miss our family the way it used to be. Does that make me a bad Christian? No. It makes me human. We all want the "fairy tale" life….or even just a life that is not hard. Well, I'm here to tell you that life is hard (if you haven't already figured that out!), but God is good. I wrote a quick note on Facebook yesterday as I was sitting in the carpool line waiting on Allie and Nate to get out of school. I commented on the similarities of Brad and Scot's lives. My thoughts were of how their lives were remembered and celebrated. How they had impacted others with their lives. I hope when my name is called, that when my life is remembered, the same things can be said about me. Live your life as a reflection of God. Let Him lead you down the path He has chosen. CHOOSE to follow Him, and find things to be grateful for. I'm here to tell you that it is possible. I've found myself repeating the same things over and over: "My life has changed, but my God has not" and "God is not testing my faith, He is proving it."
Yesterday, as I was driving Nate and 3 of his buddies back to school after Scot's service (they are friends with Scot and Lisa's youngest daughter), I told them I had a "mom speech" for them. I don't know what the 3 boys in the back were thinking, but Nate was definitely not happy to hear me say that! I just had to take that opportunity that God had given me to teach those boys something. I told Nate that I didn't know how much he remembered about his dad's service, but a lot of what was said about Mr. Scot was also said about his dad. The other boys didn't even know Nate when Brad died, so this was also an opportunity for me to share with them a little about Brad. I told them to "live your lives in such a way, that when your time on earth is done, that you can have the same things said about you that were said about Mr. Scot and Nate's dad." There was a pause, then Nate said "Is that it? I was expecting some 30 minute lecture." *Grin* I knew had to make an impact with my statement, and I know 13 year old minds don't hear much past the first few words. I hope that they will remember those words. Life is hard…but that's no excuse. Putting God first prepares us as we fight the every day battles of life - small or large. Brad and Scot lived that kind of life. They put God first, their families second, and others third. While the exact same words weren't used, the general message was the same at both services. Life is not about things, money or power. Life is not about "me." Life is about building relationships - a relationship with God and relationships with others. There is no other way to make a bigger impact on the life that is to come….and that life is eternal.
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